I hope to go with no regrets

Yesterday, before I slept, I had this odd feeling about lying on my death bed.

I fell down recently hurting my right elbow from a rough soccer tackle. It was a pretty bad abrasion against sand and rocks. (Quite a patchy field.) It hurts a lot especially after bath. Had to be careful in taking care of the wound so that it does not become infectious. Anyway, I put on my dressing and went to bed.

As I was lying on my bed, I was pretty cautious about not causing more pain to myself. So I lay very straight and still with my right injured arm placed by my side and my left arm across my tummy. Somehow, I just wasn’t able to sleep. I realized that I was staring blankly at the ceiling. Weird thoughts started to fill my head. I started to imagine the feeling of lying on my death bed with all the various tubes plugged in to my system. Feels immobile and helpless suddenly. “Is this how I will feel like when I am going to die?” I thought to myself. “But I have got so many unfinished ambitions to fulfill.” “If I die now, will I go with regrets?” “Will I be able to let go of those unfinished businesses?” Death seems to want to let me know that I should not take my good health for granted and I should quickly finish those tasks which I deemed important before it is too late. I thought and thought and I fell asleep.

I have never thought about dying so young. Quite scary. So many things uncompleted. So many things to worry about. (But these are caused by unfinished businesses.) I have to buck up and move faster. As long as I try my best, and really my best, I hope to go with no regrets.